Black Men + Hair

I have always avoided talking about this topic just because I feel like it leads to an endless pit of opinions and because I can also get a little intense (you'll see).

Here are some points I would like to mention:

  • It's bad enough that some men still pick on natural hair.  Now I notice that you have many guys speaking out on girls who wear their hair extremely short. Recently I saw an Instagram video of a young man claiming that "females want to look handsome so bad".  I was so disgusted by his comment. Why would you wanna make someone possibly feel bad about themselves merely on the fact that you don't like their hair. I'm sure when females rocking the short look wake up in the morning, their not thinking, "I hope Michael likes my hair". Well at least I hope their not, because you opinion in completely irrelevant.

  • I feel that at times we as black women subconsciously seek the validation of black men when it comes to our physical appearance (hair, body shape, etc). Let me just say that not ALL black women feel this way, and I applaud them, but unfortunately there are many that do.
  • Just a little reminder for my brothers out there. If it wasn't for barbers, and your hair grew out, it would look just like the black women hair that you bash.
  • How do these men expect to handle this "situation" when they have daughters? Or do they plan on having babies with "good hair"? (That discussion is a whole other post).
  • I don't feel that real men care about hair, and I'm referring to texture and length. I mean, us ladies want to keep it cute, but if some man decides he's not interested merely based on your hair, trust me, he did you a favor.
  • I have heard men say some pretty crazy and ignorant things when it comes to black women who wear their short such as; "I don't want me and my girl going to same barber", "I'm gonna feel like I'm sleeping with a dude" (I think that's a personal problem).
  • Do black really have a problem with women with short hair or do they have a problem with BLACK women with short hair with a certain texture? I mean think about it, I guarantee you if Amber Rose walked up to them, they wouldn't think twice, but because our hair has always been seen as "ugly" or "less", it's a problem.
  • REMINDER: I am clearly not talking about all back men, they are plenty who have sense and aren't straight up ignorant. Let's continue.
  •  Now while I'm all for everyone voicing their personal opinions, I do block out ignorance.  That is exactly what I've been hearing a lot of lately. First off, I don't think any man should bring down a woman's appearance just because it's not what he "prefers".   If short or natural hair isn't your preference, why do you the need to vocalize your bias, disrespectful thoughts. Which are completely irrelevant, by the way. You can simply date who like, quietly. 
  • By black men bashing our hair, it at times causes a divide between women who wear weaves,  who's hair is relaxed and who's hair is natural, short, long. Because in a lot of situations, they may see themselves as better just because some negro told them so. Now of course it is our responsibility as black women to make sure that doesn't happen, but unfortunately that's not always the case. 
The moral of this post is that first off black men need to leave black woman's hair alone. Secondly we as black women should never allow a man to make us feel insecure, especially if that's not how you initially felt. Now I'm not saying ignoring them will be easy, because it's not, I myself still suffer from this problem from time to time.  However I have to remind myself that if someone cannot accept you for you, then that's not someone you want to be around. I don't care if it's someone you're dating, a friend or even a family member. 

Stay away from the mental poison and remember that God made your hair the way it, and he doesn't make mistakes.

P.S. Follow Me On Instagram @sincerelyyariblog

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