Obtaining Self Love

 So while scrolling through Tumblr, I came across a post that was titled "3 Simple Steps To Self Love".  Now there are a lot of things that I think can be done in simple steps, however self love/confidence is not one of them.  I continuously hear people say, "just love yourself", "no one will love you, until you learn to love yourself".

 Yet I don't think people realize that self love isn't something that is obtained overnight. A lot of times people who suffer from lack of self confidence have felt this way for months and sometimes years. So to basically tell someone here's a how-to-guide to get over years of certain feelings isn't realistic. Self hate is more than something that is just takes mentally, emotions are also very involved.

  I personally don't believe self love is something that a person gets one time and is set for life. I truly believe that this is something that is started from the time we are children from our parents, with them loving us and letting us know our worth. However there is no guarantee that you are going to feel this way forever, that's just the way life is. Sometimes we are thrown curve balls that make us question our worth, and depending on our individual experiences we can unfortunately be scarred for a very long time.

  Based on what I know, self love usually consists on being happy with yourself no matter what others think, being comfortable in your skin and embracing yourself just the way you are. However I haven't met one person who didn't have at least one insecurity about themselves, completely normal. Just a reminder, insecurities aren't only based around physical features, but also deeper issues.

  The process of loving yourself is like a rollercoaster, one day you're up and everything is good, other days you're down and things are not so good.  All this is perfectly okay and is completely normal, no one is going to be happy with themselves ALL the time. The truth is the journey to self love can very well be a lifetime journey for some.

  Being confident all the time is not easy at all, and takes time. So please stop making it seem like this is a case where all you have to is this or that. Confidence and self love cannot be bought, it is slowly developed and everyone's timing is going to be different.  While the three steps that I read are definitely beneficial, they are nowhere close to being easy. Especially in the world we live in where there are always going to be people who attack us.

  My point is when we ask someone how in the world they love themselves or tell them it's so easy, we may be doing more damage then good. How? This can cause a person to think because they don't have this unconditional self love for themselves like others do, leading them to believe that something is wrong with them. So rather than coming off as a life coach, help them realize how value they are by always focusing on what makes them so special, eventually they will see these thing too.

Remember, time is everything.

Wait! Check out my podcast on this same topic:

-Thank you for taking your time to check out this post! Don't forget to share your thoughts, either comment below or tweet me! These are just my personally opinions and I will love to hear what you think.

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